12 Steps to Rekindle a Marriage After Separation

By Rabia Zahid

So you find yourself in that scary place called separation and perhaps you are wondering how to rekindle a marriage after separation. No doubt the separation has come after months or even years of tension and turmoil in your marriage. Eventually, the point was reached by one or both spouses where a trial separation, permanent separation or a legal separation seemed like the best option.
The way you feel about your marriage separation would depend to a large extent on whether you were the one to initiate it or not, and of course what the reasons were for the trouble in your marriage. If you are asking yourself ‘can my marriage be saved‘ and want to know how to rekindle a relationship after things went sour or how to win someone back, read on.
What does being legally separated mean? How to rekindle a marriage after legal separation? While a trial separation is pretty informal and done on a personal level, a legal separation involves a court order. Nonetheless, such a marriage separation agreement still means that there’s hope for a couple. Some couples have to experience a pause in their relationship in order to fully understand how much they want to make it work. There may be many issues behind a marriage falling apart but a divorce is usually not something that can make a couple happy. Regardless of the underlying issues, marital separation is usually an intensely emotional time for both partners who find themselves suspended somewhere between marriage and divorce.

To rekindle a marriage after separation requires both parties to see into the future and try to understand how hurtful it would be not to have the other person in their life. The following 12 steps can be helpful regarding how to rekindle a marriage during separation

1. Take it slowly
Give yourself and your spouse all the time you need and realize that you cannot rush or force a deep change of heart. Take time to think carefully about everything you say and do. Impulsive or hasty decisions can be some of the ones we most regret, but when you have thought things through thoroughly you are less likely to regret your decision later.
2.Control your anger
If you are seeking to be reconciled with your spouse it is counterproductive to spew out anger, hatred and blame towards him or her. This will only drive you further apart, increasing the resentment and hostility between you after you have separated from your spouse.
3.Create healthy boundaries
During the time of separation, it is important to create healthy boundaries by communicating your expectations and setting ground rules. This may include refraining from sexual intimacy while you both take time to deal with your emotions.


4.Identify and work on root issues
Want to know how to get your ex back? Then start looking into why a distance was created between you two in the first place.
5.Occasional Dates
Look for opportunities to interact with your spouse in a pleasant atmosphere. Try to remember and help each other to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
6.Look at the Future
When you are seeking to rekindle your marriage after a time of separation, there comes a point when you need to leave the past behind you and look to the future.


7.Be Honest
Be very honest with yourself right from the beginning. Know that you are trying to rekindle a marriage after separation because you 100% want to get back together;
8. Prioritize your relationship
Remember that once you decide to give your relationship another chance, you must make it a priority. This means putting in the work and going above and beyond to make sure you are dedicated and jointly responsible for rebuilding the connection.
9.Respect your partner
Another step towards repairing your relationship to rekindle a marriage after separation is learning to respect your partner all over again. There may be feelings of anger and resentment still in your heart because of your past and you may need help in letting go of those things.
10.Be kind and compassionate
The simple act of always being kind and compassionate towards one another can save a relationship.If you embrace this attitude of always being kind and respectful towards your spouse, you will be able to resolve conflicts more effectively.
11.Express yourself
This is the ultimate marriage separation advice you will get when you want to know how to bring back the spark in a relationship. By expressing yourself, you let feelings of trust seep back in the relationship
12.Have fun together
Make it a priority to have fun together as a couple once again. Take some time out to have a little adventure with your spouse. This will enable you to reconnect together as a couple; just like you did in the early days of your relationship. Yes, separation makes things complicated but this is your own unique way to show you still care about your significant other.



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