Remember Kabir from Kabir Singh and his toxic ways of showing love for his partner? Many might argue that despite the toxicity, he really did love Preeti. We beg to differ, in fact, we think he was a love bomber in all senses. Who is a love bomber, you ask? Love bombing refers to a pattern of intense and overblown interest and attention from one partner in order to manipulate the other. (Yes, picking out Preeti’s friends for her or asking her to wear her dupatta in a certain way that he wanted are both signs of love bombing!)
It’s often hard to spot a love bomber, especially because our culture through films and fairy tales normalizes love bombing. Often, it even convinces the public at large that it’s romantic love. Also, if you’re used to terrible exes (the kind who wouldn’t communicate right or value you), a love bomber might feel like a welcome break. However, in order to spot one, it’s essential to understand common patterns of abusive behavior. We bring you that you should watch out for:
It’s normal to be obsessed with someone at the start of a relationship. It can lead to a steady flow of communication. If, however, your new partner crowds you with multiple texts, calls, DMs throughout the day, this could be a red flag. It would be wise to pay attention to this kind of behavior early on. Are they texting you constantly when they know you’re in an important meeting or out with friends? Do they ask you to text them every update of your day? Do they drop ownership comments on literally everything that you post on social media?
If yes, then you need to think about their communication pattern and how it makes you feel.
They’re OTT When Gifting You
Thoughtful surprises, candlelit dinners, romantic picnics are typical ways to woo someone, but extravagant gifts like a spontaneous getaway, a zillion roses at the workplace, expensive products, diamonds, especially when it’s just the start of the relationship, could indicate that they’re trying to manipulate you by building up feelings of love and trust quickly.
They Put You On A Pedestal, And Then Mistreat You
We all love to be complimented, but watch out if your partner says things like, “You’re all I ever wanted” or “No one could ever compare to you”, especially if the two of you have only known each other only for a short period. It takes time to get to know someone and determine whether you both are a good fit.
Again, it’s kind of hard to tell the genuinely well-intended from the otherwise, so we suggest you watch out for other signs too. Are they moody? Are they controlling? Do they suggest who you should be friends with?
Additionally, a love bomber usually is excessively needy and disrespectful of boundaries, and might make your relationship feel like it’s on fast-forward. If this is the case, we suggest you run in the opposite direction.