Let’s admit it – we’ve all met at least one person who’s sparked some intense emotions and found ourselves unable to stop thinking about them every waking moment. A new crush you can’t stop Insta-stalking? An ex you can’t get over? Or even your BFF’s distant cousin you’re dying to get in touch with? Well, here’s the thing: you can go ahead and blame your brain chemicals for this one, especially if you’re obsessing over someone you’ve just met!
No, really, when you bond with someone, that triggers the release of dopamine, a feel-good chemical, in the brain. And, when you really obsess (say what you will but ‘obsession’ is the right term for this!), it’s because the dopamine response has somehow gotten triggered. This is also why it’s easier to obsess over someone you’ve only just met as opposed to someone you’ve been in a relationship with for years. Dopamine draws people together and, once you’ve completed a certain period with someone, oxytocin – the bonding hormone – sets in (so bye-bye butterflies!). But, hold on, before you start worrying, there are some ways you can get that cute someone out of your head. Here’s how:
Distract Yourself
Don’t beat yourself up every time you think of that someone, as most people tend to do; distract yourself instead. We get it – it’s easier said than done, but distraction can work like magic and get the job done! Here’s a trick: when you catch yourself thinking about that someone, turn it into something positive. A project that’s due soon, or what you’re going to order in the evening at the café you’re meeting your girlfriends at; anything really!
Face The Music
Before you start distracting yourself, here’s what you should do: turn towards those thoughts instead of away. Sounds illogical, we know, but it can really work. The thoughts keep coming back because perhaps you’re feeding the hope. Analyze the situation, jot down points if you have to, see if the situation can be worked out… If there’s no hope for the two of you to ever get together, however, you might as well allow yourself to confront the pain and move on.
Move On With Purpose
Here’s another trick that might help: focus on someone new. Get onto that dating app, meet new people, socialize and you’ll find it easier to stop thinking about ‘that someone’.
