By Saiqa Samee
When you feel as though your partner isn’t giving you the attention you deserve, it can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, and hurtful. The truth is that there a number of reasons that could cause your partner to check out emotionally. So, whether you’ve only just noticed your partner giving you the proverbial cold shoulder or have undergone the iciness for weeks/months/years, now is the time to take a closer look at your relationship to establish the reason for the discontent and determine if the relationship is worth mending.
Loss of Interest
One particularly painful reason that a partner has checked out could be that they’ve lost interest in the relationship and don’t wish to pursue it any longer. Rather than jumping to conclusions, have a conversation with your partner and ask them what’s been on their mind and the reasons for their apparent loss of interest. If you aren’t getting the attention, you need and deserve, it may be time to move on.
It could be, very simply, that your partner is dealing with the pressure of having other things on their mind, such as an achingly difficult work project or personal and/or familial issues that sap them of the energy to deal with little else. A little reminder that you’re an equal part of the relationship and have needs, too, could help redirect their focus.
Unwillingness To Prioritize
Overuse of the phone, computer, social media, and video games—along with an unwillingness to unplug even after being asked—is a big departure from the early “getting to know you” phase of your relationship when all conversations seemed interesting and all concentration was focused on your time together.
Lack of Reciprocation
Perhaps you’re the one who’s losing interest: If you’re constantly distracted, always on the phone, and aren’t invested in your partner’s life, you’re sending clear signals that your partner isn’t important to you. And you’ll likely receive the same treatment.
If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, your behavior is toxic and negative, and no one, least of all your better half, wants to hear it. Even seemingly harmless criticism and patronizing comments, too, can take a toll. While you should always feel free to express yourself and say what’s on your mind, take a good look at the way you’re communicating.